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4 Tips to Develop our Resilience

It has been one of those weeks for me inside my head, which can be a scary place..Right? Seriously though, you know those times where you get trapped in your own head? Not in a bad way per say, but one of those weeks where life comes at you in a few different directions and reminds you of what is really important.

Based on the aforementioned “week”, it felt like this week should be a quick hit on 4 reminders of things we can do to maintain our resilient approach to life.

Here goes:


  • It might suggested that adaptation is arguably one of the most important elements that ensures a species survival. It isn’t rocket science that learning to change when external environmental factors push at you is critical, but how may of us actually give any thought to whether we are adaptable? How many of us have heard of a significant life change or job change affecting a friend or peer and then for years after you hear how horrible their life is. Have they failed to adapt to the changes that have taken place? Inevitably change will happen in our lives, so, how does one learn to adapt? I believe it is a learned skill that starts with us understanding how to evaluate our emotions in relation to change. Are you an early adopter? Late adopter? Being upfront with yourself about your own feelings and knowing how you process change sets the foundation for your ability to adapt to what is happening around you. Once you understand how process change, you can put steps in place to for the emotional and or physical transition required to adapt.

Being Flexible

  • This is not to be confused with the a aforementioned “Adaptation”, but it is related. Flexing is about developing a healthy perspective related to control. If we think hard, there are only really a few things in life that are within our control. The most important things to sustain life are automated – breathing is unconscious, blinking, hearing, tasting – most of our senses and bodily functions are on auto pilot…We can’t control the external environment either… What our spouse says to us, what our boss is going to say to us or get us to do in any given day, how others treat us and even sometimes health issues that affect us. Truthfully, all we can really do in a day is to control our emotions and choices – that’s really about it! Resilient people understand this concept the most because our emotions will affect our choices and our perception of the world around us. Which in turn affects our ability to take on the next challenge or issue in life. Challenge your perspective and approach to control in life and see how you become more flexible!

Learn from failure

  • As Viper said to Maverick in Top Gun (Yes, I am using a Top Gun quote -> insert face palm here) “A good pilot is compelled to always evaluate what’s happened, so he can apply what he’s learned.”… It might be cheesy that I quoted a line from that movie, but the point rings true. At it’s root, if we are not choosing to take the perspective of being able to learn something about ourselves in every situation and apply it to change our future responses, we are no different than the person who chooses to build their house in the sand and is then upset when they have to rebuild year after year because of the annual flood. I think at some points in life, we are all that person, so learn to learn from failure and see where life takes you!

Realize life is not all about you

  • Have you ever worked with a person who appeared to think or feel they were indispensable? They behave as though if they weren’t there making decisions everything would grind to a halt? The problem with those who behave this way (aside from the obvious), is that they align their value with their perception that “they” are the key to success in everything they are involved with. Their value then is tied into the notion of perception vs. reality and when reality changes, there is an identity crisis and a struggle to flex and adapt. Not to mention, it is possible they have alienated others with their approach over time and may have no support networks. When we get to a place where we realize that life is really not about us, our approach to life turns towards gratefulness and appreciating we have the opportunity to contribute and be a positive leader in our sphere of influence. If something changes in our world we have already established a thankfulness attitude and we are not then threatened by the change. Instead we are thankful for all things, apply what we have learned seek to embrace the change.

Hoping you feel the points are relevant and I’d love to continue the discussion! please share and or post your comments!